Innocence: I remember when mom would tell us to go inside because dinner was ready, and we would play children’s snooze bar and ask for another 15 minutes. We would play this game all evening until mom’s tone would change and she would no longer ask us to go inside, but rather instruct us to go inside. “It’s time. It’s time…” she would say.
Innocence: I don’t know exactly when I lost it, but I’m sure I began to careless for it around 14 when the boys let me drink some MGD. I was afraid. Not because it was alcohol, but because I wore braces, and I thought my orthodontist would find out I drank beer and he would tell my mom.
Innocence: I was 15 and I was with my friend Peanut and Chris on our way to play basketball at Marshall. Chris had blunt he wanted to smoke as we all walked. I absolutely didn’t want to because I was so scared, but fitting in has a way of muting one’s fight or flight response.
Innocence: There was a drive-thru liquor in Echo Park that sold cigarettes and alcohol to anyone who was willing to over pay in cash for said contraband. By 17, I was making multiple runs. By 18, I had developed more addictions than most people have in one lifetime.
I always wanted to be an astronaut. I was always assured and reassured that I could be anything I wanted to be if I put my mind to it. The only problem is that no one ever told me what “putting my mind to it” entailed. I thought they meant that if I wanted it then it would happen; however, they meant that if I wanted it I would have to work very hard to pursuit said desire.
Fast forward 20 years into the future and here I am. Not as astronaut! Not a Ninja Turtle! Hell I didn’t even become a pirate. I fucking loved pirates! I am just a guy. Some days I am just a hung over guy, and other times I’m a drunk guy, but usually I am just a guy.
What I’m trying to say is that reaching your dreams is overrated, and in some cases it’s not practical. You don’t have to swing for the fences every time you step to the plate, but you do have to try to get on base. Not all of us will become astronauts, pirates, or ninja turtles, but we will all get multiple chances to get on base.
"And The Oscar Goes To"
Canon Rebel T3/ August 2011
Work in progress on a poem called “Failure.” It will be in Iambic Pentameter. What can I say? I love rhyme and internal rhyme. English Major to the FULLEST!
I lived my life real fast like a drag race.
Sixth gear, fast pace, coming in in last place.
Can’t win, strange ways, ugly face,
I’m awkward like a back brace. Erase
Me from your memory, and ‘member me
Not how I used to be, instead the me
I always tried to be! Just forget me
Like oppressed memories. My memory
Haunts. It’s Paranormal activity,
Ghosts, demons, or Dickens nativity,